We went to our shrink today. He
says we're the only couple he sees who hold hands throughout the whole session.
He assures us that doesn't mean there's not still stuff to work on.
"Are you both happy with your sex life?" he asks. We both shrug
and say Yes.
He says he's asking because sex is a good gauge of intimacy between two
people. It would help if we could be more specific.
I explain that we've both had to make some compromises--Andy has agreed
to go down on me, but he won't tie me up. Now things are okay.
Andy says I'm being mean. He tells about the night I played for him the
CD single "You Suck" by the Yeastie Girls.
"It's an import," I interject proudly. The therapist gives me
a nod, but it's a shut-up-and-wait-your-turn-to-talk nod.
"What bothers you most about oral sex?" he asks Andy.
"Well," Andy says, "I want to like it, but I need time."
The therapist nods, because he's a man, and he says that he doesn't think
any man likes the taste at first.
Then Andy and the therapist talk about how society gives vaginas a bad rap,
and this is what men grow up thinking.
I interrupt: "If Andy thinks I'm disgusting, then I feel bad about
"Is that Andy's problem or yours?" asks the therapist. This is
what the therapist says 90% of the time. I can't believe we're still paying
to hear this.
Andy says it's hurtful that I'm so impatient with him. He says he's trying
I say he should try more often.
The therapist says that time is up. He says we should remember that we have
a really good relationship, we're just going through a rough spot. He compares
us to the couple that has to leave his office ten minutes apart so they
don't kill each other outside.
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