I deserve a break today, so get up and get away (McDonald's, circa 1987). With these words, the first words to come into his consciousness, "sung" mentally to himself in a remarkably accurate representation of the melody, Peter sprang out of bed and wandered down the hall into his bathroom to pee. He had a full day planned. He looked at the Leningrad Cowboy Wall Swatch ($149.95, Sharper Image Bel Air or Big Ben's in Fashion Island): it was already nine thirty. Time to boot up.

He finished peeing, flushed, and looked at himself in the mirror above the sink. Not bad, but the goat might have to go. He'd get Wanda to do it; she enjoyed doing things like that, would probably wear something swish (that expensive see-through beaded thing [Kritzia $2700], or that Bill Blass silk gown [$900]) as she scraped his face with the razor, singing Puccini or some such crap - no, it wasn't crap - careful not to get any menthol Edge on that pistachio moir. She'd probably want to vid it, or maybe even do it at Club Stick, make a phenomena (her word) out of it. He'd try to get her to shave him nude, in her bathroom, her nips brushing against his shoulder, like an r-rated version of that Schick commercial, the one where that girl somehow gets a streak of shaving cream on her belly. . . or that movie, what was it, with Travolta? Phenomenon, of course (some coincidence). . . . that wasn't the one where he was an angel, was it? No, that was something else. Anyway, she'd circle him slowly, then stand behind him, his head against her stomach, her bush rubbing against his shoulder, as she gently and carefully removed his (admittedly thin) beard. And after she shaved him, maybe he'd shave her, that would be only fair (maybe they could vid that).

He was holding his dick, little Pete (littler Pete) in his hand and was getting hard. Pete and Repeat. He had no time for a quick wank now (when was Wanda getting back?), he had to get some work (a report on acid jazz) done before meeting Kay for lunch. That was their ritual, their routine, every week day (when they both were in town) since prep school, he and Kay would lunch at Marinetti's (owned by Tony Curtis, father of cow Jaime [although she was semi-hot in Trading Places]), at precisely one pm, at a table near the back (not near the kitchen, certainly), and over pasta (primavera [$17.95] or alfredo [$14.95]) and a single glass of wine (often Pauillac Pichon Lalande [$12.95] or sometimes St. Julien Gloria [$6.95] [Kay]) and duck ravioli ($15.95) or angel hair with pesto ($10.95) and one or two Sierra Nevada Pale Ales ($4.95 [Peter]) discuss parts of their lives (real estate deals [hers] and school and then later work projects and engagement [marriage] arrangements [his]) and plan their twice or thrice yearly travels (he had released little Pete sometime ago which had quickly contracted to normal size). There were two subjects never mentioned: his parents and her boyfriends (all of which Peter loathed [one or two of whom were within five years Peter's age]). Kay always paid. If you live through this hmm hmm hmm I will die for you (Hole, Mother May I Music, BMI 1994): it was time to get going; take a shower (Zest and Paul Mitchell $4.99 [wasn't Gabriella Reece hot, or did she play for Nike?]), brush teeth (Rembrandt 6 oz $7.99), dress, check email (shaving could wait) and see what the (virtual) world was up to. With any luck he could remain at home until lunch and not hit the street or the office until two thirty or so although he could use some cino right now and there was a Bucks on the way to work.

After completing his ablutions he returned to his bedroom to Fall into the Gap green cotton briefs ($8.95), long slate grey jean shorts ($12.95 on sale), black leather belt from Hard-On Leather ($49.95), black Ministry t-shirt (Jesus built my hot rod [maybe a gift from somebody {Freddie?} or some promo shit from the office]) no socks and black and white Puma Trainspotters ($59.95 [Eh mate 'airs me fickin 'eroin Shute yer fickin gob]). As he tied his laces he absent-mindedly stared into a pile of dirty clothes (Tina [$14 per hour] was on vacation [he'd have to go out or make his own cino]) and saw a regular geometric shape amidst the soft chaos of dirty laundry: the remote control to his box (Sony CVC3000, birthday present from Wanda or more precisely Wanda's stepfather [probably around $599 cost]). He'd been searching for it for days dude! An omen, perhaps, of a truly awesome day. He picked it up and pointed it at the box in the corner. What do the airwaves have to offer?

KROQ sucks! Listen to us anyway. He smiled. He loved that commercial and repeated it out loud: KROQ sucks! Listen to us anyway. He thought about going to his own (out of milk) or Kay's kitchen (the kitchen of the main house [$300,000 in 1980, probably 1.5 million now], he occupied the guest cottage in back) for some cino or even regular Joe, but thought better of it, afraid that he might run into (who was it this week?) Pavo, lounging around the jacuzzi, working early on his George Hamilton and Kay's Bombay Sapphire (Hi Pavo 'sup? What? How ya doing? Fine . . . uncomfortable pause You? Fine . . . another uncomfortable pause You wanna drink? who needs that shit; I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me [motherfucking Beck]). As long as he could avoid a splitter he could skip the java, get some on his way to lunch or something - or if he had to go to the office, pick up a double latte at Bucks. He remoted the radio off and went to the big room (the studio) where he kept his toys -- his six-year-old Yamaha PSR 320 keyboard ($499), his 32-inch (he should have gotten the 35, damn) Sony XBR tv ($1499 cost [thank you Wanda's stepfather]), Sony SVHS 528A ($599 cost) and Mitsubishi 3568 ($499) video tape decks with a Panasonic 14A video mixer ($400), a Nintendo 64 ($199 on sale) with assorted cartridges (FIFA Football, Super Super Mario Brothers, Sim City Deluxe and Total Recall, all around $59.99), his Yamaha (R-V901 $399) and JBL Home Theater System (SCS120 $1299), a Sony 8 mm camcorder with color LCD monitor (CCD-TRV22 $700), a seldom used Powerbook (Mac all the way) 1400cs (36 meg ram 750 meg hard drive [$2699] it was actually gathering dust while Tina was absent), and his baby, a 240MHz, 64MB, 4 GB with a 12X CD-ROM Powerbase Mini-tower ($2699) with internal Jaz drive ($499), Sony 17sfII Display ($799 retail), Cambridge Soundworks MicroWorks 3-way computer speakers ($349), an HP DeskJet 870Cse printer ($499), and a brand new Global Village Fax/Modem 112 bps (on loan from the office retailing for about $400 from MacMall he guessed). Plus assorted software. Ok Scully, time to boot up, because the truth is out there.