FEDERMANIA:


(email virus attacks from Raymond Federman, founder of Surfiction)

TO: amerika@altx.com
FROM: Moinous@aol.com


Hey Great Deleter!

A question for you:

What remains when all the superfluous is taken away?

You cut you chop you xtract you reduce you compress you undercut you take away you diminish you remove you amputate you desymbolize you decline, you transform, you disfigure, you cut cut cut

So that of everything I do, there are always two versions: the real and the unreal, the long and the short, the true and the false, the original and the revised, the pure and the unpure, the primary and the secondary, the virginal and the deflowered, the fat one the skinny one

Here, let me give you an illustration so that you can compare the two versions

compare The Undecipherable Gesture with Another Place and tell me which is which.

UNDECIPHERABLE GESTURE


There is another place, another space, a room that has haunted me besides the closet, a room that contains perhaps the answer to the question that has driven me to here and now.

Perhaps all the while I was probing inside the closet, all the while I was trying to decipher in the darkness of that hole the meaning of the gesture that pushed me there, the answer was elsewhere, in the other room, the room full of light, for it was not dark in that room, it was light in that room, where they told me to wait after I emerged from the dark hole of the closet, and it is in the light of that room, of that waiting room, in that antechamber of departure that it all started ...

In that room there was a bed and a wooden table, I cannot remember if there was a chair to sit at the table, perhaps the table was not a table but a desk, this is not clear, in any case, a bed, a table or desk, and on the wall, the wall against which the bed was pushed, a picture tagged to the wall with punaises, yes in French, of course, and that picture, a representation of a sexy scene advertising a play, a movie, a spectacle of sorts, a glossy picture depicting a nude pale female body, long and slim, stretched on a couch in rumpled sheets, a voluptuous young woman with black hair, her left hand suspended in mid-air reaching for her breasts, her right hand touching the black hole between her thighs, yes that's exactly how it was, and there, in that room full of light, with the bed, the table, and the sexy picture on the wall, there as I replayed the fear in the closet, I saw myself crouched like a sphinx defecating on an old newspaper, and I burst into laughter, the laugh laughing at the laugh, I was laughing at myself over there shitting in the dark hole, and I knew then that it would have to be told in laughter and scatology, in laughter and sex, that it would have to be written, when the time comes, from the light of the bedroom rather than from the darkness of the toilet, yes I understood this as I stood naked between the bed and the desk looking at the naked girl in the picture and reached with one hand for my head, and with the other for my cock.

It is that gesture, that duplicitous gesture that has guided me to here and now, and not the undecipherable gesture that pushed me into the closet which will remain forever undeciphered.


ANOTHER PLACE


There is another place, another space that has haunted me, a room that contains perhaps the answer to the question that has driven me. Perhaps all the while I was probing inside the closet, all the while I was trying to decipher in the darkness of that hole the meaning of the gesture that pushed me there, the answer was elsewhere, in the other room, the room full of light, for it was not dark in that room, it was light in that room, where they told me to wait after I emerged from the dark hole of the closet, and it is in the light of that room, of that waiting room, in that chamber, that antechamber of departure that it started ...

In that room there was a bed and a wooden table, perhaps the table was not a table but a desk, a bed ...

A table or desk, and on the wall, the wall against which the bed was pushed, a picture tagged to the wall with punaises, a glossy representation of a sexy scene advertising a play, a movie, a spectacle of sorts, depicting a nude pale female body, long and slim, stretched on a couch in rumpled sheets, a voluptuous young woman with black hair, her left hand suspended in mid-air reaching for her breasts, her right hand touching between her thighs ...

And in that room of light, with the bed, the table, and the sexy picture on the wall, there I replayed the fear in the closet, I saw myself crouched like a sphinx defecating on an old newspaper, and I burst into laughter, the laugh laughing at the laugh, laughing at myself , and I knew then that it would have to be written, from the light of the bedroom rather than from the darkness of the toilet, I understood this as I stood naked between the bed and the desk looking at the naked girl in the picture and reached with one hand for my head, and with the other for my cock.

_____

Amerika, also try this:

BRUDNY ZYD GOES TO POLAND

Brudny Zyd is invited to go to Poland. Brudny Zyd does not want to go to Poland. Brudny Zyd is afraid to go to Poland. Brudny Zyd has bad feelings about Poland. Brudny Zyd has heard bad things about Poland and about Pollacks. But LOT Airline gives Brudny Zyd free plane ticket to go to Poland so Brudny Zyd can be famous in Poland. How can Brudny Zyd refuse to go to Poland. Brudny Zyd wants to be famous. Even in Poland. Brudny Zyd decides he will go to Poland. But LOT Airline gives only economy class ticket to Brudny Zyd to go to Poland. Brudny Zyd hesitates to go to Poland economy class. Brudny Zyd does not like the small seat and the bad food and the bad service in economy class. But after hesitation Brudny Zyd decides he will go to Poland. Okay I go to Poland Brudny says to himself. Still Brudny Zyd does not want to travel to Poland with all the Pollacks in economy class.

Brudny Zyd nonetheless decides to go to Poland because he wants to be famous even in Poland. Brudny Zyd says to himself What the Hell let's go to Poland.

So Brudny Zyd is at the airport checking in at the LOT Airline counter to go to Poland. At the LOT Airline counter Brudny Zyd explains to charming Pollack LOT lady who checks him in that he's happy to go to Poland but he would prefer to go there first class or even business class rather than economy class. Brudny Zyd does not tell charming sexy LOT lady that he does not want to travel economy class because of all the Pollacks. Brudny Zyd explains to charming sexy friendly LOT lady he likes first class or even business class because the seats are bigger and wider and more comfortable and since Brudny Zyd has a bad knee from playing too much tennis it would be better for him to go to Poland in first class or even business class. Brudny Zyd of course lies about his knee. Brudny Zyd has no problem with his knees.

On the contrary Brudny Zyd has very strong knees. If the charming sexy friendly beautiful LOT lady wanted to he would wrap his knees around her to show her how strong his knees are. Brudny Zyd does not say that to the charming sexy friendly beautiful eager LOT lady he only thinks that to himself. Also Brudny Zyd does not mention that he likes first class or even business class better because of the filet mignon they serve for dinner and also because of the champagne and the fine French wines and the extra bread and the exquisite friendly service from the beautiful sexy LOT stewardesses who all speak with such sweet and sexy Polish accent. No. Brudny Zyd simply asks if possible he be upgraded because of his bad knee. Charming LOT lady smiles sexy smile and says Why not just like that. She likes Brudny Zyd.

She senses he is a famous man. Brudny Zyd is so happy he almost jumps over counter to embrace charming LOT lady but refrains from doing so. Brudny Zyd does not want to be noticed by the Pollacks who are waiting in line behind him. And so to expedite the story a bit Brudny Zyd travels to Poland in business class. Charming LOT lady explained that first class was impossible because she could get in trouble with LOT Airline authorities but business class is okay. In business class Brudny Zyd gets lovely little kit full of lovely little Polish things in it. In the business class Polish kit Brudny Zyd finds a mini Polish toothbrush a mini Polish tube of toothpaste a Polish razor a Polish toothpick a pair of Polish slippers and many other Polish things. But Brudny Zyd does not use any of the Polish things in the kit.

Brudny Zyd does not trust Polish things. Brudny Zyd does not trust Pollacks either. Brudny Zyd would love to fuck charming sexy friendly beautiful Polish lady LOT stewardess who gives him great service in business class.

The one with the big Polish boobs. But Brudny Zyd is afraid that his cock would reveal that he is Brudny Zyd. On his way to Poland Brudny Zyd is suddenly sorry that he is on his way to Poland. Brudny Zyd knows that it is too late now to turn around. So Brudny Zyd says to himself Fuck it I'll go to Poland. Brudny Zyd hopes everything will be Okay for him in Poland.

While all the Pollacks in economy class are getting drunk on Polish vodka and making a lot of noise Brudny Zyd wonders as he tries to get some sleep in the big wide business class seat after he ate the good filet mignon and drank lots of fine French wine if he will ever come out of Poland alive. Brudny Zyd knows that many Brudny Zyds never came out of Poland. Now he doesn't give a shit any more if he becomes famous in Poland. He can become famous somewhere else. All he wants is to come out of Poland alive. Brudny Zyd is worried that he may end up in a Polish bar of soap. If Brudny Zyd is given a choice in Poland between becoming a bar of soap or a lampshade he will tell the Pollacks that he prefers to become a lampshade. Brudny Zyd knows from experience that lampshades have more of a future than bars of soap.

and this:

JOURNEY
TO THE END OF NIGHT

he took it
in his hands
and put it
in her hands
and asked her
to put it
in her mouth
and then
between her breasts
and after that
t o d r a g it s l o w l y
down
her
*
ab
do
me
n
till
it reached
her thighs
and there
in bet-------------ween
to put it fully deployed
inside
her cunt

&
to let it
go in and out
in and out
up
and
down
inside
her great
cunt
til
it

can
no
more


ABOUT WRITERS & WRITING


1. The overbearing arrogance of writers is true, just ask us.

2. If one sits on one's ass all day, in due course one will enlarge one's
asshole. This is why writers are classified as Big Assholes.

3. When the writer announces that he or she has found his or her voice,
you may interpret that to mean:
a) _________
b) _________
c) _________
d) _________
None of the above _________.

4. Writing is a lot like fucking, but only like it, not it.

5. I never met a writer I liked, says the writer into the mirror.

6. Writing is not [we insist] the living repetition of life.
Moreover, all writing is done [in our opinion] hapharzardly.

7. Writing is such a burden, especially because of its manual aspect.

and finally:


THE LINE


at first one could stand in line almost anywhere people didn't really mind
too much if one cut in front of them though there were always some who
objected when overtaken particularly those who were under the impression that
they stood near the head of the line but even these people did not object too
vehemently since the line was not moving very fast or for that matter often
hardly moved for long periods of time and since no one could tell where it
was going but people waited anyway patiently and goodhumoredly and more were
coming all the time in endless processions after all it was a good line a
pleasant line a decent line even though in places people allowed gaps holes
in it looseness and laxness as the line weaved stretched meandered out of
sight thicker here thinner there single or double file here triple even
quadruple there in fact in various places it was more like a social gathering
or a human press as people crowded around in circles as if preparing for a
town meeting or a debate or getting set for a choir or a game after all with
such little progress forward and so much time to wait people moved about the
line up and down in and out casually and freely stopping along the way to
chat with neighbors old friends or distant relatives cousins or uncles they
had not seen in years all sorts of people with whom one had had dealings or
commerce as the saying goes before joining the line but also to chat with the
new acquaintances made in line as one moved about leisurely from place to
place up and down for indeed the mere fact of being in line seem to create a
friendly atmosphere a sense of sincere congeniality and solidarity among the
liners as they were called therefore those who made a fuss when someone
squeezed past them would be sneered at and even booed by those being
by-passed since the line was endless in both directions and it was impossible
to determine where it started where it originated and where it ended
therefore it was ridiculous on the part of anyone to want to claim a
legitimate place in it or insist on any priority of standing for what would
be the point of declaring oneself ahead of anyone else that would certainly
be futile yet some people kept moving up the line overtaking others squeezing
in front of them or by-passing them but without any hurry or sense of
urgency these people were merely moving up or giving themselves the
impression of moving from one place in line to another nearer to the head
simply for the sake of moving forward without any specific reason or purpose
hoping perhaps that eventually they would be first in line a vain hope of
course because the more people there were moving up the line the further away
the head would be for obviously as these people squeezed in front of others
the further away the head would be pushed so that in fact a step forward in
this case really meant two steps backward for while certain people moved
forward others moved in the opposite direction falling back in line so to
speak away from the head because frankly they did not care where they stood
in the line and so they would loaf about or mill around in groups in and out
of the main stream forming circles to gossip or tell jokes or listen to the
stories which were circulating up and down the line funny stories about what
people did in line to pass the time or how others had forgotten why they came
to the line and yet continued to wait simply because they had nothing else to
do or how some people truly believed they knew where the line was going
groups could be seen standing around laughing at the curious objects people
had brought with them to the line for instance the bed on wheels on which an
old man was lying in his nightgown and which he pushed along with a cane as
if paddling a canoe just to keep up with the line or the little desk and
chair and even a calculating machine an accountant kept lugging along so he
could continue to do his numbers as he waited in line ah what dumb things
people do while waiting in line one could hear muttered all over but it was
the jokes especially that attracted most attention and caused the greatest
hilarity one joke in particular kept being repeated up and down the line the
one about the fellow who sees a funeral procession going slowly down the
street with two hearses and a gentleman holding a huge muzzled dog in leash
and behind them a long line of men all wearing black the puzzled onlooker
asks the gentleman with the dog why are there two coffins in this ridiculous
funeral oh replies the man with the dog the first coffin is my mother-in-law
and the second my wife ah I see says the curious man okay but why the dog oh
the dog answers the gentleman pulling at the leash he killed both of them ah
exclaims the inquirer could I borrow your dog for a few hours well you better
get in line mister the mourner with the mean dog retorts with a large grin on
his face some of these jokes were not very funny but this one kept being
told over and over because it seemed so appropriate to the situation though
some people claimed they had heard it before probably those who had been in
the line from the beginning and heard that joke when they first arrived for
it was said that the joke was as old as the line itself and it was indeed a
very old line some people had been in the line so long they could not
remember when they first joined as a matter of fact the line had been going
for such a long time that many died while waiting and had to be buried on the
spot special crews were appointed to dig graves and perform the burial rites
but there were also happy occasions on the line for instance people falling
in love and getting married or children being born or birthdays and
anniversaries being celebrated it was very interesting to observe how the
line not only changed shape constantly but also changed mood how it
fluctuated from sad to happy or vice versa and this as a result of the many
activities that were going on in the line so that it could be said that the
line changed moods as often as it changed shape sometimes it was joyful
lively full of playfulness and other times it was sad gloomy somber anguished
but in general the line was calm and uneventful simply moving along in its
ordinary but disorganized fashion becoming thinner here or thicker there and
usually this because someone had stopped to tell a story or a joke and a
crowd had gathered or elsewhere someone had just finished telling
a story or a joke and those who had been listening were now moving
on or sometimes if there was a tree or a wall along the way or some
other such natural or man made structure that cast a shadow on a sunny day or
gave a bit of protection from the wind on a cold day or from the rain on a
stormy day then people would gather under that tree or line up near that wall
or huddle next to that structure and wait consequently the line would become
thinner and lax in that spot lazy as it were for there was no great urgency
or unnecessary impatience in the line even though arguments would sometimes
flare up about nothing in particular and even occasional fist fights for no
apparent reason simply that someone's foot had been stepped on and no
immediate apology offered and quickly a shove would result followed by an
even harder retaliatory shove and then a fist would strike someone's ribs or
someone's nose and for a few moments there would be turmoil and agitation in
the line until the people around the disturbers would restore a semblance of
order and calmness with insistent pleas of please let's keep the line moving
and gradually the line would resume its careless progress as casually as
before the disturbance quickly forgotten and the disturber politely forgiven
in general then one could say that it was not a bad line on the contrary a
good decent honest line perhaps a bit too chaotic but nonetheless adequate a
line to which people could come without apprehension and once in line without
having to complain too much about being stuck there for the main concern in
line was civility and generosity many had come to the line quite unprepared
not having anticipated the fact that it would be a slow endless process so
that waiting would be in vain just as progress would be in vain therefore
they had not brought with them the essential in food and clothing to last or
continue to last in line so that food drinks and clothing would be shared
generously among the liners it was not unusual to see groups of people who
had never met before eating from the same picnic basket or drinking from the
same bottle or handing pieces of clothing or blankets to people who suffered
from the cold more than others especially during the night after sundown but
particular care was given to the young and the very old for there were
people of all ages in the line male and female of course and of all ways of
life educated and illiterate rich and poor this was apparent from the clothes
and manners of certain people many races and colors were also present in line
but usually these people preferred to stay together in bunches in remote
parts of the line naturally there were also people of different religious
beliefs this was evident from the discussions and arguments having to do with
questions of morality for one of the major concerns of all the people present
was the morality of the line and when disagreements occurred on this question
the line would become extremely agitated though it should be noted that not
all discussions had to do with morality or theology in some places people
would get together to sing songs in unison while in other places someone
would suddenly stand on a box to make a speech or deliver a lecture and
people would gather around to listen to the speaker or argue with him there
were always people ready to argue about anything for the sake of a good argument
while others who did not care to listen to these impromptu speeches would shout
keep the damn line moving but since no one really payed much attention to
these dedicated liners they would simply by-pass those gatherings and move on
but usually most people preferred the one-to-one conversation moving with the
flow of the line two people would casually talk about anything in particular
where one is from what one does in life talk about the family about the wife
who didn't want to come to the line or talk about the children or reminisce
about one's childhood in other words the usual banalities of life
occasionally one could hear an intellectual discussion or a critique of the
latest artistic fad but it should be stated that not everyone in line was
willing to engage in conversation many preferred to remain silent facing the
back of the person in front extremely serious in their waiting quietly
performing their role as liners of course since the line moved extremely
slowly and in no apparent direction many people would drop out if not
permanently at least temporarily sometimes simply to rest along the way and
watch the others in line go by or else to take a nap many could be seen
stretched on the ground soundly asleep during the day and naturally at night
too however there were some who complained all the time saying that it was
hopeless that we will never get there but in general most people seemed
resigned to the slowness and indeterminacy of the line in fact some people
who had previous experience with other lines said that in spite of its
disorganization and purposelessness this was a rather good pleasant line
perhaps the best line they had ever joined and this because of its casualness
and lack of regulations for indeed in spite of its disorder this line was
remarkably smooth and easy going and as such acceptable to most though many
feared that one day unexpectedly out of the blue so to speak it would be
announced that everyone in line should stand in alphabetical order and this
would immediately cause an incredible mess a frightful state of disorder for
the commotion that would result from the fact that one would have to change
place and move either forward or backward depending on the spelling of one's
name would create not only chaos but irritation and anguish and consequently
the line would turn ugly full of animosity as people would not hesitate to
ask others with whom they had had a friendly relationship for their
identification cards in order to ascertain that they were in the correct
place according to the first letter of their last names and one would
probably hear people shouting to others your name begins with a T get the
hell back or someone would say in a somewhat embarrassed tone of voice my
name starts with a B I have to move ahead of you and it would not be rare nor
sunrising for some people to accuse others of lying about their names or of
using false names just to be ahead of them therefore this line which had been
so good and so flexible would rapidly degenerate into an angry state of
mutual suspicion simply because of alphabetical ordering for there would be
order now in the line oh yes indeed order unhappily
unhapply
unhappily
un
hap
pily
u
n
h
a
p
p
I
l
y



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