Sex magic is as old as mankind. Everyone, even in the dullest vanilla relationship, has felt at some time that it's magical, or at least should be. Sex is used by the forces of society (read the forces of stupidity) to make us do anything from buy a certain brand of car to vote in certain ways. If we allow ourselves to be entranced by these prepackaged images of sex -- instead of creating our own magic -- we are slaves. If we begin the realization of our fantasies, we begin to participate in what it is to be gods. One of the oldest (and still practiced) forms of sex magic is Tantra. In Tantra practices there are two principles -- one the source of power called Shakti, and the other the director of power called Shiva. This corresponds directly to our practice wherein one individual is the director/Dom and one the acted upon/Submissive. All of us in the scene for any length of time have always known that the real power is on the bottom. Such practices continue to flourish (and therefore change the direction of the world) not in the East as Tantra, but in the West as "Gardnerian" Wicca. Fairly obviously the "god" Shiva need not be male, nor the "goddess" Shakti female.
Magic is the art or science of causing changes in the world through will alone. This is very, very hard -- if it wasn't we would never encounter a red light while we drove. Many people try conventional magic and have little or no results. They simply don't have enough passion. But sex provides the greatest amount of passion easily available to the magician. Sex provides energy by creating a tension that is released in orgasms. The forces of the individuals involved flow out into the world freely at this moment. Now as we all know the orgasms that follows an intense D/S scene are much, much more powerful than the orgasm that may occur in vanilla lovemaking. Why? Because of the greater consciousness and separation of the individuals involved. Each were working on two very different tracks, two different parts of reality -- but the moment of release brought them into one will. Note carefully I am not talking about simultaneous orgasms, which are more powerful still, but the orgasms of a submissive who has been put through her or his paces. Now if that energy is directed (by words, or thoughts, symbolic items in the room, visualization, etc.) to a particular goal -- the energy will fly forth as a lighting bolt and strike the desired target, beginning to force it to change in accordance with the Wills of the persons involved.
Since magic is a product of the consciousness -- it is as individual as the persons involved. There are therefore no rules for sex magic. However there has to be good sex involved. The submissive -- before he or she can submit to another -- has to have learned how to submit to themselves. The very tough idea of "To thine own self be true!" is essential in the submissive having the spiritual and magical strength to act as the goddess Shakti. The dominant has to have mastered something in the world. If she or he is going to wield the power, she or he must be able to do things in the world. A forty-five year old guy who lives with his mother and flips burgers at McDonalds isn't going to be able to act as the god Shiva. The master must already have power in the world, the submissive must have power over herself. As a magical discipline, magicians avoid playing with persons for whom this isn't so. To play with such psychic vampires is a drain of power and will murder the soul. Partners who are aware and willing participants produce much more energy, and will effect the world and themselves much more strongly.
How do we pick a goal for our magical operations? At first this seems a silly question, but if we remember Mickey Mouse's problems in _Fantasia_ (He knew enough magic to start filling the bath, but not enough to make it stop), we can realize that magic has a particular danger: sometimes it works. It takes a mature and focused magician to know the difference between her wants and Needs. Wants come and go. The wants we had when were 16 are different than the wants when we were 24 or 32. Wants exist at an animal level. For example, we may think we want the gold of a great job we happen to hear about. So we do our bit with candle and bell and we get it. Unfortunately the job takes up all of our time and is so full of pressure that we can't leave its problems at the office. So we make seventy thou a year, go home drink three cocktails, watch TV and go to bed. And somewhere along the line we die (although our corpses may not have the decency to lay down).
So one of the first things we want to use this vast power is self-change (Initiation). We want to use the forces to Create in ourselves a desire to learn, to overcome weakness, to proceed with reason. We want to direct these forces inward toward our goals. More rarely we will Need to change some intolerable condition in the world -- say perform the work to get a new job, better health, defend our homes against those dedicated to do us harm. This stealing of the fire from heaven gives magic its "dark" reputation. Magic is essentially about command ("My will be done!") versus religion ("Thy will be done!"). It is the practice of outlaws and outsiders, and those who would dare bring Heaven down to Earth and lift Earth up to Heaven.
Some good books are The Yoga of Power by Julius Evola, Sexual Magic by Beverly Randolph Pascal translated by Robert North, Fire and Ice by S.Edred Flowers, Secrets of the German Sex Magicians by Frater U.D. and Tantrism by Benjamin Walker. Dr. Flowers and his wife Crystal run a sexual magic order dedicated to sado-shamanism called the Order of the Triskelion. Mr. North runs a sexual magic order called the New Flesh Palladium. These books are available at Book People in Austin as well as at better stocked occult stores everywhere.