by Susannah Breslin
© 1994

from Chick-Lit 2: No Chick Vics, edited by Cris Mazza and Jeffrey DeShell

He was down on the rug with the dog and he had started with the first one holding it between his fingers and then moving it around. "Boobs, Boobs," he said under his breath and moved down to the next one on the dog's stomach. They were nice. His mother was in the doorway watching him and he was on the next one and it came out of his mouth again, "Boobs," saying how it felt in his hand. It was like the time he had touched the baby-sitter's breasts when his father had given him money to kiss her in front of the camera. He had tried to put his tongue into her mouth but she had gotten really mad and told him not to do it again not EVER. Her face had been a tight ball.

Now his girlfriend was down on all fours in front of him and he was fucking her. He had his hand pushing down on the small part of her back so his dick was hitting her harder and better and higher up. "Boobs," it came out of his mouth and then she was trying to turn around towards him and saying, "Huh?" He thought about how he could take his dick out of her and just ram it up her ass and she wouldn't be able to do much but maybe take in a lot of breath real quick. He could tell her it was an accident. His dick had slipped. He closed his eyes and pretended he was fucking the old baby-sitter. He opened his eyes and the girlfriend was still there with her butt bopping forward every time he went up into her. His dick was getting limp.

He lay down on the bed and his dick got hard again so that it was up on his stomach. His girlfriend was still on her hands and knees with her butt in the air and her face on the pillow turned away from him. It looked like she was waiting for him. He got back up behind her and his dick started to get limp again. It was really pissing him off. He lay down and it was hard again. He got back up really fast and tried to get his dick in her before it had a chance to realize what he was doing. It shrank faster and when he pushed it up to her quick, it crumpled back on him.

"I am going to make dinner," she said to him lying on her back. She appeared to be addressing the ceiling but she was probably telling this to him. "I could help you," he said. He was on his stomach, looking at the side of her face that was closest to him. He watched her heart moving her breast up and down. She had small tits and he thought about raising his left arm up and letting his hand fall down on to her tit and seeing if he could flatten her boob all the way. It would make a slappy meat sound. He thought that after she left his apartment she would go and jack off at home. If he put his hand up and further back towards the wall and let it fall down, his hand would land on her face. That would make a harder hitting sound. Her mouth would get all mashed up against her teeth but he wouldn't be able to see that with his hand in the way.

She got up out of the bed and put on a T-shirt and boxers from his drawer. She went into the kitchen and began taking things out of the refrigerator that he couldn't see because they were all in bags or containers. She took something out of a bag and started messing with it. He found his underwear in the sheets at the bottom of the bed and put them on and went into the kitchen and stood next to her. All the food had been taken out of the bags and she had opened all the containers. She had put a knife out on the counter and he looked at it. He put one hand inside his shorts and cupped his balls with his palm.

He took his girlfriend's hand away from the food and made it lie flat on the counter. Then he picked up the knife and started moving it with the point going down in between her fingers doing Mumbly Peg. The point hitting the counter between her spread out fingers made a banging noise. He did it faster. She leaned towards him and screamed loud in his ear, high and short, so he stopped and she went back to the food. He thought he saw her roll her eyes out the window at the people in the apartment on the other side of the street. The neighbors were all standing together behind the blinds, lined up and looking out so you couldn't see them except for their eyes. There were two pairs of eyes up high and two down low that were the kids looking out. The girlfriend picked up a cucumber and peeled it into the sink.

He left her moving things around in the kitchen and went into the bathroom. He pulled his dick out of his underwear and stood back against the wall to see if he could pee into the toilet from that far. The pee made a loud noise and splashed up on the seat some. If the girlfriend had to go to the bathroom later, she would either sit in the wet pee if she went soon or put her butt onto the dried up pee on the seat if she did it awhile from now. One time he had gotten up in the middle of the night at her apartment drunk from the bar they had been to. He couldn't find her bathroom in the dark so he went back into a corner between a bookcase and a wall. He leaned his head on a shelf and peed onto her rug until he couldn't go anymore. She hadn't said anything about it and he had done it about two months ago.

The garbage can on the bathroom floor was overflowing and there were towels and clothes on the floor. He picked up the wastebasket and went out through the back door and down the stairs to the back alley. Dumping the trash into the big can, he watched as a bunch of little white bundles fell in. There were about four carefully wrapped packages falling from the wastebasket into the larger container. She had been having her period until a few days ago and he knew that what was in the bundles had to do with that. He put the lid back on the can and checked to see if anyone had been watching. It was possible that the slats of the blinds across the street had been spread apart from people looking out. He wasn't sure. He thought he had seen the curtains in the lower apartment moving around but that could have been from the wind. Or maybe someone had been watching and then had fallen down and grabbed at the drapes to catch themselves but had missed and hit their head into the edge of the window on the way down to the floor. He couldn't tell.

When he got back up into the apartment, the girlfriend had one pot and one pan boiling on the stove and she had finished making the salad. "I am making soup," she told him. She didn't say what was in the pan but he guessed it was meat. She put her hands out over the stove as if she was keeping it down with her hands. She turned and walked back into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. The door stuck so she had to close it again and slam it hard to wedge it closed. Standing in the kitchen next to the stove, he could feel the heat coming off it onto his stomach. He was still in his underwear and he realized he had gone and taken the trash out in only his shorts.

He picked the lid up off the soup and looked inside. It was thick and yellowish with pieces of vegetable in it. He leaned over to the sink from where he was standing and got the container of liquid detergent that was there. He turned the container upside down over the pot and poured some of the detergent in. There was a white spot now that was the soap in the middle of the soup so he used a spoon to stir it in. The color of the soup was now a lighter yellow. He put the lid back on and sat down at the table until the girlfriend came out and put the salad and a hamburger on a plate in front of him. She set a bowl of soup next to the big plate with the vegetables and the meat but the girlfriend did not give herself any soup. He began eating the salad and hamburger and spoons of the soup in turns one after the other. The soup tasted a little soapy so he held the other food in his mouth and ate it all together with his nose plugged and then it tasted better.

When they had eaten everything, she said, "I think I better go." "I think you better go," he told her. She had put all her clothes on and was ready to leave so he walked with her to the door. He opened it for her and she kissed him good-bye on the mouth. He could see the eye of the man in the apartment across the hall pressed up against the glass of his peephole. The eye was wide open and bulging out the hole so it made a bump on the door. When the girlfriend walked out the door of his apartment, he closed it on her so that she was caught between the door and the frame around it. Her arm below the elbow was sticking out into the apartment so the door did not entirely shut. Her fingers were moving around and he could see her now in the hall through his own peephole and she was trying to undo her pants with her other hand. She was going to masturbate in the hall if she wasn't able to get home soon. Her one hand went into her pants while the other one opened and closed, trying to get out from in the door.

If the dog had been there, he could yell for it to sic and it would jump up and hang by its teeth from her arm. He leaned towards her hand where it was feeling up and down the side of the door for the doorknob. He bit the forearm near the wrist and the hand turned around towards him and tried to grab at his face but it couldn't maneuver much between the door and the wall. What was he going to do? The hand kept looking for ways out and he could hear the eye of the man across the hall breathing deep and hard. He knew the big knife was in the kitchen and he suddenly tried to run for it and get back in time before the hand knew he was gone. He ran through the apartment and made a small U-turn in the kitchen to pick up the knife without even stopping. He ran faster in his underwear it seemed. But back at the door the hand was gone and had even closed the door shut carefully and quietly behind it. Back at the window over the sink he could see her walking away and he threw the knife out the window at her. It fell down into the bushes underneath him.