Wrestlemania
by Shelley Jackson
 
 

Is Spooky World back in town?

You can see, tomorrow night, Betty Crocker surround herself in a ring of flames. You can witness Cactus Jack hurl himself several feet from the ring to a Freudian couch. Shown are the routes of three powerful players: Doris Fisher, Sam Gash, Ming the Merciless. Students prep the checkpoints: a Barbados hospital, a straw hat and a matching straw handbag.

I like rutabagas, I overheard a woman say, as she stuffed Cap'n Crunch into the Good Person of Szechuan. Hundreds of people came to the pink building, looking into other people's pockets. Oscar Wilde schmoozed with twin brother surfers from Hawaii.

The players take positions. Ming the Merciless extends a long string into a straw handbag. The sweet smell of birthday suit fills the arena.

Fergie is bumping the duchess in a highly choreographed venture in E minor. Duchess Golightly is wrestling with Charlie the Tuna. Pop-Tart! Little girls ride Freudian couches through the change of life. A lesbian grandma told the newspaper the duchess was "really, really nice." She is eager to show Aunt Jemima the fish oil and Keebler Elves.

Ming plunged his goatee in a wet chalet. Doris Fisher is struggling to push 36 snowbirds into a straw handbag. Sam Gash is hunting for a job like his name. Ming extends a foot into the playroom. Shuffleboard, cards, crisis, crisis, summit, bingo!

You can see Sticky Strings O'Froot on the rug. "Pay-per-view THIS!" screamed Aunt Jemima.